Last June I wrote a blog that had intense and insane responses. WHY? It was my truth about being a single woman in the city.
It was shared all over, picked up and went viral (well for me) AND I was honoured. I think this truth resonated because its fu**ing HARD to date in Toronto (cities in general).
SO recap. WHAT’s changed since last summer. Don’t think life can change in a year? Ha. Well I have found a wonderful human man who I’m madly in LOVE with. Sure I’ve been in love before, or a version of it I suppose.
Why is this different? I was ready. I think the people I dated. The work I have done on myself. Self love and such was ready for a partner. Makes sense? To me it does. SO now what?
It’s not always happier ever after and NO RELATIONSHIP is PERFECT (gawd knows IMMA INPERFECT HUMAN) but here’s my two cents on what’s important to ME in a relationship.
TRUST: Trust is a weird one for me. I have been lied to and cheated on. Have omitted or told a fib in my day. AND giving trust to someone is a vulnerable thing. I still have much work to do with this BUT am working on it. HE also trusts me and is patient with me (and sh*t from my past).
LAUGHTER: Laugh that stuff off. I CAN BE THE MOST STUBBORN. I can hold on to things. GUESS what. Does nothing. AT all. For you, for them, for the relationship. TIP: Find an inside joke and when things get tense, throw it out there. Trust. Will lighten up the mood OR at least put a pin until you both calm down.
KEEP YOUR FRIENDSHIPS AND BUILD NEW ONES: Keep your lady dates. Keep your man dates. You will both want some time solo and then you get to come back and giggle about how adorable you are. SHARE and build new ones. I also think its super important to include your SO into your people, it’s another form of trust and they get to see YOU. How you are with people. NEW people and couples are also a neat form of socializing too – its like this thing that you started together. Friends with couples, dogs whatever your jam is. It’s sort of like when you move in together to a new place. It’s a fresh new couple thanggg.
COMMUNICATION: This is the foundation that will break or make you. I mean it’s important in everything you do; work, friendships, love, life etc. Talking things out. Figuring how you “fight” – matching and using your approaches so they compliment each other AND resolve, not continue. You will have disagreements. You will not agree on things. AND that’s okay. It’s building and having the tools to keep it healthy and evolving is the key to an open, honest and STRONG relationship.
ALL OF THE INTIMACY: Not just the sexy and gushy stuff. Late night conversations. Just being quiet. Looking at each other and having a secret language. Kissing for no reason. Just being. Insecurities and dreams. Share it.
HAVE FUN: Above all have fun. ENJOY each other. Try new things. Eat out. Run together. LAUGH. CONSTANTLY. Challenge each other. Eat oranges in bed. Exchange dreams. Kiss often. HAVE fun.
So many of you have asked, who this mystery man is… well he makes occasional appearances on my social BUT the most important part is; He loves me, makes LAUGH CRY always, puts up with my crazy.
Happy Wednesday loves xoxo