I’m definitely not perfect. Have made mistakes in friendship. Gave too little. Gave too much. Tried. Then failed.
And have had some trying and toxic friendships (and relationships) over the years. It took many learning lessons and “trial and errors” over the last 20+ years to curate and build my squad (as the kids would say). BUT.
WHY am I writing about this? I see a lot of young women (and men) concerned with being cool and popular OVER being valued. Hoping this can offer some insight and maybe inspire a younger generation to opt for quality vs. quantity.
Building same sex friendships be it male, female what have you takes time. I’ve done it all tbh: the friend divorce, the toxic one, the judgemental ones, the uber competitive ones (watch for these – as they are super damaging) and the weird “single white female” stalker version.
Building a friendship is similar to the relationship recipe. There needs to be trust. Kindness. Value. HONESTY. Ridiculous silliness. Strength. Support. And above all love. I’ve also been fortunate to be blessed with old friends. New. And new that after 10-20 years aren’t that new. The resounding theme is …. acceptance and being on the same page. Values align, trust is built and you end up with a wicked amazing foundation that hopefully stands the test of time.
Similar to when I speak of relationships – friendships are similar. Minus the sexual element they will become your life. Pick you up. Nurse the tough times. Be strong when you’re unable. Kick your a$$ when you need it. And love you unconditionally.
Listen to your gut. As when entering into a new romantic relationship – YOU know when there’s a connection, when you are building a foundation and when it’s time to let go.
This is all in my opinion but over the last few years I’ve been able to NOURISH my old and most loved pals. AND meet new wonderfully strong, independent and fierce women that I trust with my life.
I wish you the same. Female friends. Male. Anyone you can trust, help, love and grow with. I hope your life includes a Kristy, Claudia, Mary Ann, Stacey, Dawn and Mallory. TOTALLY JUST referenced The Babysitters Club. (So good)
S/O TO MY FEARLESS FEMMES:
🙌🏼 (Kimberley, Cheryl, Andra, Michelle J, Michelle T, Kat x2, Joanna, Lauren, Trisha, Brig, Jords, Jas, Sarah M, Natalie, Caroline, Nawleen, Kristine, Meaghan, Kris and Alex <in no order of pref> in real life)
Have the best weekend and give your ladies a little squeeze or call this wknd and tell them how much you LOVE them.